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A marriage guidance session in a cathedral at Fresno, California, turned sour when a couple started shooting at each other. According to those present, Michael Martin had a gun in one hand and a beer in the other when he let loose. His wife whipped a pistol from her purse and returned fire.
A group of students in Howe, Oklahoma are suing their school after allegedly enduring a history class in which they experienced slavery-like conditions. Designed so that they could empathize with the plight of slaves in the 18th century, the lawsuit claims lessons involved them being tied up with masking tape, beaten with paddles and having to shower in cubicles daubed with faeces.
Kerry Bingham was on a late night drinking spree with friends when he volunteered to bungee jump off the Tacoma Narrows bridge in Washington. His buddies took a disconnected power cable: one end was fixed to the bridge, the other knotted round Bingham’s leg. Inevitably, 40ft into his fall, the cable tightened and his foot was ripped off. The rest of him hit the water, where he was picked up, alive, by a fisherman.
Three employees of the cartago council in Columbia won an industrial dispute after they crucified themselves in protest at privatization plans. The men were hooked up to crosses and had five-inch nails driven into their hands. The council Acceded to the trio’s demands after three days.
Thirty-one-year-old stripper Roberto Pamplona suffered a broken nose and multiple injuries after mistakenly performing his act at the annual meeting of pressure group Catholic Mothers Against Pornography in Milan. Pamplona was supposed to be performing at a hen night in an adjacent room, but went through with his show which erupted into a violent melee half-way through.
A 61-year-old Thai man has been sentenced to 15 years in jail for attempting to have sex with an elephant. Kim Lee Chong was discovered standing on a wooden box approaching the animal a 29-year-old, five-tone beast called Boua from the rear. IN his defense, Chong said he believed the elephant was the reincarnation of his wife, Wey, who died 28 years ago. "I regonised her by the naughty glint in her eye," he said.
A cricket fan imprisoned his wife under a bed for two years because she refused to worship pictures of Sri Lankan bowler Roshan Mahanama.
A Swiss woman has left £370,000 to a house plant. The crazed geriatric a millionaires from Geneva once described her newly-rich jade plant as her "best and only friend", and she is believed to have conversed with her favorite piece of greenery for the last five years.
A Tokyo teacher has been suspended for three months after ordering two of his junior high school students to commit hara-kiri. The teacher was taking the pupils on a camping trip and demanded they commit ritual suicide after discovering an illicit supply of chocolate which they had brought along with them. When the pupils refused to obey their teacher’s order, he beat them all instead, for their insolence.
When American football fan Frank Emmert JR was pulled from the wreckage of his light aircraft after it had plummeted to the ground, he was told by doctors that he owed his life to the giant piece of cheese he was wearing on head. Emmert was wearing the cheese as a sign of allegiance to the Green Bay Packers, the Wisconsin side nicknamed "The Cheeseheads" because of the large number of dairy farmers who support them. When his light aircraft nose-dived, the cheese acted as a safety helmet and cushioned his fall.
An Egyptian 48-year-old-widow has been arrested for digging up her own husband’s grave. After finding her spouse’s body, the woman took his skull home, claiming she was lonely and missed having him about the house.
After a row with her one-legged boyfriend, Christina Mack smeared grease across the landing floor at the couple’s home in Peoria, Illinois, hoping his disability would cause him to slip and injure himself. However, 35-year-old Mack fell victim to her own prank when she skidded on the grease, fell down the stairs and was knocked out. After regaining consciousness, local police arrested her.
Zairean police have taken a duck into custody and charged it with sorcery. The duck was apparently arrested for its role in the mysterious shattering of a minibus windshield. Passengers called the police, insisting the duck was evil.
The Yemeni government is apparently unconcerned at a recent rise in the number of tourists kidnapped by local tribes. Travelers often find themselves pawns in the battle between the Yemeni people and their leaders, with hostages generally being exchanged for political concessions. "Kidnapping is part of tourism," said the speaker of the Yemeni parliament. "The tourist will end up learning about the customs of the tribes, as well as their good hospitality."
When Mark Cason robbed the post office at Morganstown, near Cardiff, his modus operandi was poor. Cason’s first mistake was forgetting to put on his disguise of baliclava and gloves. Then, inside the post office he agreed to hand over his savings book which had his name on to counter staff. He did at least manage to pursued them to hand over £9,500, but his hands were so full of cash that he had to beckon to two children outside to open the door for him. He then took a train to Stockport and checked in at the Bredbury Hall Country Club, telling the receptionist: "If the police ask for me, I’m not here." Finally, when apprehended, Cason gave his occupation as "armed robber".
An Italian father has been charged with child abuse after making his son cut the family lawn with his teeth. Neighbors alerted the police when they saw Angelo Franco’s 17-year-old son chomping away in the garden as punishment for having "neglected his chores".
When Laura Mackenzie got stuck at a red light in the Australian outback, she remained patient. For two days she waited for the lights to change, before another driver found her slumped in the car, suffering from dehydration. "How was I supposed to know the light was broken?" Said Mackenzie, later. "It was red so I wasted for it to change."
When friends of Lauren Rhoda refused to believe her claim that she had x-ray vision, she decided to prove it by driving blindfold through Ottawa city center. The 27-year-old ran over one pedestrian’s toe before crashing straight into three cars, one belonging to the local police force. She received a £400 fine.
At the start of the second world war, Russian commanders had the idea of using dogs to blow up enemy tanks. Using Pavlovian principles, the dogs were trained to associate food with the underside of tanks, the plan being that they would then be strapped with explosives and sent scampering towards enemy lines. Trials of the suicide dog bombers lasted just two days into the war it turned out that they preferred Soviet tanks to those of the enemy, and during their first mission they managed to scupper the advance of an entire division.
A Turkish farmer reported to his local hospital suffering from terrible stomach pains. When they examined him, doctors found a small amount of insecticide in his blood stream. The man did not seem suicidal though, and the doctors were baffled as to how he could have drunk the insecticide by accident. However, once he had recovered, the farmer himself provided the answer – he told the medics that a fly had flown down his throat and he "wanted to kill it before it started having babies inside of me."
Reaching the climax of his magic act in Azul, Argentina, Professor Marvo asked his assistant to shoot him in the face. The gun was fired, and Marvo proudly pulled the bullet from between his teeth. Gold miner Marco Asprella was so impressed with the trick that he took out his handgun and, with a shout of "Catch this one, Professor," fired it at the magicians head. Marvo was killed instantly. At his trial, Asprella remained distraught, still unable to understand why the magician had failed to catch his bullet. He was acquitted of murder.
Gerhard Wolf committed suicide when his wife pencilled the figures "666" on his forehead while he was asleep. Wolff saw the numbers as he looked at himself in the mirror the next morning. "The Devil has me in his grip," he wrote in his suicide note, "There is no escape."
A Masai tribesman was arrested at the Kenyan Ministry of Tourism In Nairobi in February 1984 after he was discovered breaking into a glass cage and strangling the stuffed lion inside. The distraught man explained his brother had been killed by a lion and he was just trying to get his own back.
Three Satanists in Buenos Aires were arrested after ordering pizzas from the Buen Appetito parlour in May 1994. The pizzas were delivered by 19-year-old Carlos Sanchez and, when he failed to return to work, his boss called the police. Cops found the Satanists sitting among a pile of bones. Bored with pizza, they’d eaten Sanchez instead.
A houseowner in Gilroy, California was confused when he came home one day in October 1987 to find that someone had broken in, hung a set of curtains, washed up, taken the rubbish out, cleaned up the living room and put dirty clothes in the linen basket. The burglar left a note which read as follows, "Dear Sir, I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve cleaned your house. I haven’t taken anything because my father is a duke in Spain." Police later arrested a youth who was said to be "mentally disturbed". He wasn’t charged.
When journalists in Manila ran a story claiming police had stolen a cache of confiscated cocaine from their own lockers, the police chief General Necesito angrily denied the allegations, offering the explanation that "rats and cockroaches got in through gaps in the locker doors and ate it all". As evidence of this, he said that the cockroaches at police headquarters had been behaving strangely. "They just stand there looking dazed when we shine lights on them. They’re obviously high on drugs." A reporter then showed the chief pictures of officers selling cocaine on the street.
In March 1996, Brazilian thief Edilbar Guimares broke into glue factory in Belo Horizonte. Attracted by the smell of glue, he decided to take some of the shelves for a sniff. This dislodged two other cans of glue which fell off the shelves. The next day, police found a sleeping Guimares still glued to the floor.
In the Autumn of 1994, De Witt Finley was driving through the snow in the Klamath mountains in the US when his car got stuck. But rather than get out of the car and look for help, Finley put his trust in the Lord, praying that he would be found. To while away the time until what he thought would be his inevitable rescue, he wrote letters to his girlfriend and his children. Doctors estimated that he would have starved to death around the middle of January 1995. His body was found by a group of hikers the following May. If Finley had got out of his car, he would have discovered a clear, wide road just yards from where he had got stuck giving him an easy walk down to ground level.
A Sheffield woman spent 20 years in darkness because she didn’t want to kick up a fuss when her electricity board cut her off in the mid-Seventies. The woman, now 86 and too embarrassed to be identified, said: "My husband and I came home from shopping one day and some electricity board workers were digging outside. I remember a letter saying we were low users so I thought we’d been cut off because we weren’t good customers." She was reconnected last year when neighbors alerted Yorkshire Electricity to the situation.