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The following are actual questions asked by actual lawyers in actual court.
Q: Mrs. Jones, do you beleive you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
Q: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can
identify me."
Q: Did he kill you?
Q: Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?
Q: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
Q: Were you alone or by yourself?
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and
doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?
Q: How long have you been French Canadian?
Q: Do you have any children, or anything of that kind?
Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask if you recognize the person
in the picture?
A: That's me.
Q: Were you present when this picture was taken?
Q: Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?
Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are?
A: I'll be three months on Nov. 8.
Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was Aug. 8?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you doing at that time?
Q: So you were gone until you returned?
Q: She had three children right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many of them were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: You don't know what it was, and you don't know what it
looked like, but can you describe it?
Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes
Q: And these stairs, did they also go up?
A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of
unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said
"Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body of
Mr. Edington?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started at about 8:30.
Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, you stupid bastard, he was sitting on the table
wondering why I was doing an autopsy!
