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A man walks into a police station.

"I'm here to report a robbery." he says. The policeman nods his head, "Yes, what was stolen?"

The man says, "Well, I think my roommate stole my marijuana plant." After careful examination, the policeman decides the man is really telling the truth. He calls over a few others to watch.

The policeman says, "Sir, are you aware that if we catch your roommate- we will also have to arrest you for possession of marijuana?" "I was not aware of that.." says the man, "Perhaps I should reconsider." And the man was never seen again.




There was a lady in Washington DC who robbed a bank. She held up the teller, got her money, and got out of the bank. Great plan.. but one important thing was missing.. the getaway car! Apparently she proceeded to hail a cab outside of the bank. When a cab finally stopped, she was already surrounded.




This happened a few weeks ago at a Troy, NY bank. A guy walked in and proceeded to talk to an old high-school friend of his for about 15 minutes. After their conversation ended, he robbed the bank and ran out, apparently in a hurry. The woman he had been talking to earlier said she knew him and gave his name. The bank called the police. His name was recognized and he was picked up about 15 minutes later at the meeting with his parole officer he was late for, and the reason he rushed out of the bank.




Reading PA- A man walked into a bank, and went to a teller, and demanded she give him money. Scared, the teller gave him what she wanted. Now, he may have gotten away with it. But he drove off in his getaway car, an orange Vega! He was of course caught.




From "The People", a London paper:

"I'm Wayne Black." The words were tattooed across the forehead of Wayne Black, a suspected thief in Lincoln, England. When confronted by police, Black insisted he wasn't Wayne Black. To prove it, he stood in front of a mirror and insisted he was Kcalb Enyaw.




I read this in the Toronto Sun. A man was trying to steal gas by siphoning the gas. He wanted to check how much he had and used a lighter for light. The vapors caused an explosion, exploding the car and a truck near by.




Milwaukee, WI - It was reported that a woman called the police claiming that someone broke into her house and stole a safe of hers. When the safe was retrieved, it was opened by the police to reveal a large amount of crack. She was promptly arrested.

Also, I heard a story of a crippled man, confined to a wheelchair, attempting to rob a bank with nothing but a knife. He was laughed at, then arrested.




I live on a dead end street, so it was really stupid when, a year or two ago, an idiot led a high-speed police chase down our street. What's even more stupid than that, last night some guy led a "moderate-speed" police chase down our dead end street. Yet somehow, the cop let the guy get past him, out of the dead end! Is that stupid or what?




I read this one in the Excite News:

Brazilian police captured a burglar with his trousers down after he got stuck, half-naked, in an iron grille as he tried to break into a house. Sporting only a pair of white underpants, Marco Aurelio Santos waited for firemen to cut him free from the metal bars gripping him around the waist. Santos had to tolerate the laughter of onlookers as he awaited rescue and was not in a talkative mood. He told reporters to 'Please, leave me alone. I am already in trouble.'




PORTLAND, Conn. (AP) -- The timers on the microwave ovens at a Burger King scared off a gunman who thought they were security alarms going off. The holdup man left without taking any money. The only worker in the restaurant was putting breakfast sandwiches in the ovens when the gunman entered before daybreak and demanded that she open a cash drawer. As she fumbled with the lock, the oven timers sounded. "He disappeared in two seconds," manager Jorge Ruisanchez said. No arrests were made.