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P

"Don't look back -- something might be gaining on you."
- Satchel Paige
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching"
- Satchel Paige
"This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force."
- Dorothy Parker
"The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other poor sons-of-bitches die for theirs."
-George Patton
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex-no matter what she's reading."
- Emo Philips
"I think, therefore I'm single."
- Female philosopher
"The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order."
- Brian Pickrell
"Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting someone else to do the work.'
- John G. Pollard
"The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."
- Paula Poundstone
"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to."
- Elvis Presley
"Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true."
- Polish proverb


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R

"I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch."
- Gilda Radner
"Trust, but verify. "
- Ronald Reagan
"Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business."
- Tom Robbins
"Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, estatically, ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion."
- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boat" on his television show, "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood."
"It doesn't matter if your on the right track, if you don't move, you'll get run over"
- Will Rogers
"There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators."
- Will Rogers
"Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find out how to do it."
- Theodore Roosevelt
"Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down."
- Russell Baker
"The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage."
- Mark Russell
"The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!"
- Mark Russell
"The only thing you will ever be able to say in the so-called 'social' sciences is: "some do, some don't." "
- Ernest Rutherford